The Unexpected Death of a Parent & Grace
My mom passed away on April 2, 2023 which brought about lots of unexpected thoughts and emotions.
Both my parents were young souls and I have always known myself to be an old soul. So, our journey together was never a satisfying one. After years of personal work, I have come to find peace around this which is why I did not think I would be too emotional about her passing.
She was still healthy at 90 but was in pain due to various poor decisions made around back pain, trusting surgery instead of exercising or alternative approaches. So, at least she is no longer suffering physical pain.
Like many people, she was good at letting the constant chatter of her mind torture her, night and day. So, she is no longer suffering this kind of pain either.
I never wished her harm, even when she was being mean to me because by nature, since kinder garden, I was a soul healer of sorts. People always came to me when in trouble and I have an urge to help whenever I can. My parents were no exceptions even though I felt I did not succeed in helping them the way I can help others. Not an uncommon scenario.
No feeling of guilt troubled me around this because I am aware that it was not all on my shoulders for them to succeed. They just were not ready in this lifetime. However, I do feel sad at this outcome. They both had so much potential! Both super smart. My dad taught himself to be an engineer in electronics and my mom had the ambition he lacked but she did not take action to make things happen for herself. Maybe a generation thing!?
Pictures posted are of them at the beginning of their journey and another one with me as their first child.
When I heard about my mom passing yesterday, I felt sad for the life she did not choose. I felt sad for the mother daughter relationship we could have had. And I felt sad it had reached a point of no return. So, although I felt a bit numb at first, I did cry when a friend called me upon receiving the news.
Also, as I processed my thoughts and feelings, I found myself realizing that now, per my belief system, I could talk to her knowing her soul no longer had the limitations of her human mind. So, I did.
In doing so, I realized that perhaps, what they could not learn in their most recent life, they will be able to learn in the next one thanks to what they understand while in between lives. It made me feel that being the best daughter I could be despite her not seeing it is now serving a purpose after all.
I am grateful she is no longer suffering; I am glad that I flew to Paris in a snap and visited her the first time we thought she was about to leave us.
I am glad that at that time, I spent long hours with her, trying to teach her a simple way to breath in the hope it would help her break her mind flow at night, spent much time massaging her worn out and achy body, listening to her and talking to her with an open heart and mind.
All this contributes to my feeling now that there is nothing I could have said or done that was not said and done. I am sad and I feel complete.
My mom has always been the best teacher of what not to do on a heart level. My dad was a great motivator for me to pursue academic studies. They both were a big motivator in living the life I have chosen, helping others, and doing what it takes to blossom into my highest potential both with my intellect and my heart wisdom. My journey was to connect the dots integrating Mind, Body, Heart, and Soul which is what I teach as my True Purpose.
I do believe that our suffering is meant to point the way to our true purpose. I am now teaching people what I never learned from my parents. I inspire and guide others to experience the lightness of being and to dance the Joy of Wholeness.
My next event is happening on April 10, at 7pm EST. I would be happy to meet you and be of service to you.
For more info or to register, click here: Unique Approach to Heal Chronic Tension or Pain
Cécile Raynor has been teaching for 30 years, published the Wise Way to Yoga as well as numerous articles, and she was featured several times both on TV and on an “Expanded Awareness” radio show. Her blog has been read by thousands of people in over 100 different countries. Her work is based on the Alexander Technique, the best-kept secret of Olympic athletes and famous performers. They swear by it because it allows them to perform at their best with optimal safety. Although it is now commonly used by everyone. She also created the Body Intelligence Activation Process™, a mind, body, heart and spirit work that affects her students in all aspects of their life as they experience increased wellbeing.
Cécile has been helping people with poor posture, chronic muscular tension and pain, joints issues and headaches reclaim their ease of movement, their natural good posture, and the joy and peace of mind brought by well-being. She has also been a mentor for many students interested in embodied and integrated personal growth.
For more information on upcoming events or if you have questions, Cécile can be reached by responding to this blog or by contacting her through her website: https://cecileraynor.com/